London Donovan Blog: October 2010

Friday, October 29, 2010

Read this Halloween post... if you DARE!

Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

It's Halloween weekend and this witch is ready to party! Today I sent my little Anakin Skywalker and Iron Man off to their respective schools, and I've finally perfected my own costume for tomorrow night.

Yes, I'm going to be Elvira.

After posting that video last week of the fantabulous 51-year-old who makes us all look like piles of pudding, I decided to take the plunge and go to the party tomorrow night dressed as "you, 'cept with bigger tits." Of course, Elvira has a 21" waist and clearly works out fastidiously, but whatevs. I'm not a tiny person like she is; in fact in the heels and beehive wig I'm probably about 5'9", and no one has ever accused me of being overly skinny. *cough*

I'd say the odds of me looking like the drag queen version of Elvira are fair to decent, but who gives a fuck? It's Halloween!

Btw, while searching for photos of Elvira for costuming/make-up purposes I came across the nudey pics that Elliott mentioned last week in the comment section.

Ho-ly crap!

Needless to say, they're extremely unsafe for work, so DO NOT click this link unless you're alone & don't mind looking at Playboy-like nakey pics, ok? I'm serious. Here's a link to the best one because I love you so. Don't say The Bev never gave you anything, fellas!

(I'm probably gonna lose a follower or two for that link. Boo!)

Jim was all set to be Alan from The Hangover but then he got a nasty cold and pulled a muscle in his back while searching for our Baby Bjorn in the basement, so now he's decided to be lazy and be a boring old (Dracula-style) vampire. No sparkles or southern accents for him, sadly.

Other than that, we'll just do the trick or treat thing with the kidlets. Tonight we're watching It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, but once the little monsters are in bed I'm hoping to watch a scary movie.

What kind of Drag Queen Elvira would I be if I didn't give you a list of my favorite frightening movies?

The Shining

All work and no play....

Psycho

Mother wouldn't like that.

Halloween

Makes me want MY Mother

Poltergeist

Oh, they're here alright.

The Changeling

Proof that you don't need CGI to be terrifying.

American Psycho

You like Huey Lewis and the News?

And now, to lighten things up, here's one of my favorite Looney Toons clips of all time. Very few people seem to remember Witch Hazel, but I always loved her! The way she leaves behind a cloud of bobby pins in her wake? Hilarious!

Check it:

So there it is! Everything you never wanted to know about La Bev's Halloweenie!

Now, what are your favorite scary movies of all time? Spill your guts, my ghouly-BOOBHs!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Hump Day Funnies

Greetings, people of the interwebz! It's Wednesday and I'm in a rather foul mood. Again. It might have something to do with the fact that my kid keeps waking me up at the ass-crack of dawn, so I'm beat. Or perhaps it's because I had to go head-to-head with my older son's teacher yesterday after he got in trouble for yawning in class yesterday. Yes, yawning. Ummm, WTF?

Listen, D, I know you're only seven, but could you PLEASE try to be more robotic? It would make life in grammar school much easier for all of us. Mkay, thaaaaaanks!

*eye roll*

If you're looking for trouble, you found it.

After I fired off a "What the fucking fuck is the meaning of this?" email the teacher called and spoke to Jim about it. Long story short, she agreed that maybe she shouldn't be riding a 2nd grader like Secretariat and we agreed not to call the principal and complain about her. So now everybody's happy... ish. But we'll be keeping a close eye on things from now on.

Anyhooters, I could use a good chuckle, couldn't you? Allow me to display some of the gems I've unearthed during my usual internet wanderings lately. I think we'll both feel better afterwards.

NTTAWWT

*snicker*

I am Batman. Er... Catman.

Auto-fill fail.

This is my favorite: movies associated with each state in the U.S. What About Bob? I'll take it! I thought they'd go with the obvious choice of On Golden Pond, but whatevs. What did you get?

(Click to enlarge.... that's what she said!)

There. I *do* feel a little better. Hope you do, too. :)

Have a great Hump Day!

* In space terms that's about a half a million miles.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

What the HELL am I lookin' at?

Ummmm, yeah. Just saw this on Dlisted.

I have no response to that, do you?

Monday, October 25, 2010

Misc. Monday Stuff

Happy Monday, folks! I'm not gonna lie to ya -- I'm dragging ass this morning. It's a gray, drizzly day and all I want to do is go home and hide from the world, but I was a good girl and came to work despite my generalized malaise. My crazy cat lady coworker was thrilled to see me, of course; she seems to view my presence in the office as proof that I'm dying to hear every waking thought and muscle movement she's had over the past 72 hours since we last spoke.

In reality, we all know that my presence in the office indicates nothing more than my desire to be paid so that I can buy myself that solid gold toilet I've always dreamed about.

My weekend was good, but nothing too outrageous. On Friday night I went to dinner & a movie with Mala and we laughed our asses off for about five hours straight. It was pretty awesome, even if we can't remember (or repeat) exactly what was so funny. I'm sure it had something to do with the wine that was a'flowin' during dinner, but we were both also bringing our "A Games" with the witty repartee.

At one point we were talking about our plans to flee the East coast next February and she mentioned a good friend of ours who will be going on a mission to Haiti with her church group that month. So M's gonna save babies and shit while Mala and I will be stalking celebrities and drinking our body weight in Appletinis... and that's just the trouble we have PLANNED.

I might have made a joke about how M will be rescuing orphans and I'll be *mumble mumble* blowing homeless guys *mumble*, but that was just a joke, I swear! Whatevs; it made Mala laugh so hard that she wished she'd brought along a change of underwear, so it was all in a day's work for La Bev. *polishing fingernails on shirt*

We saw Social Network, which was really good and only made me feel yucky about using Facebook a little bit. Okay, a lot, but I'm working through it.

Let's face it, if I shunned all technology that was created by bitter, entitled, mean-spirited, self-centered assholes I wouldn't be able to use any of it, now would I?

It was a really good movie, though - very entertaining. I couldn't stop staring at the overly-botoxed area between Justin Timberlake's eyebrows, but I didn't let that stop me from enjoying his performance. Much.

Other than that evening, the weekend was intentionally lame-o. D had a friend over on Saturday so my focus was just making sure the boy left with the same number of digits he arrived with, and I spent Sunday cleaning out my walk-in closet and unearthing all sorts of crazy crap that I forgot I had. Yes, I know, I lead a fascinating life!

So that's that. What did you guys do? Share with the group, please. :)

Saturday, October 23, 2010

womens hairstyles 2010

Friday, October 22, 2010

We all need a personal slogan, right?

Hey there, you sexy beasts! How's it going? I'm sorry I've been MIA a lot this week, but I've been busier than a one-legged Riverdancer. Plus, I admit I've been in a bit of a blogging slump; when I sit down to try to write for my beloved OOBH I come up woefully blank. Don't worry though; much like the gas from the ill-advised bowl of Hormel chili I had for lunch yesterday, this too shall pass.

TMI? Sorry. I thought you were into that sort of thing. ;)

This has been an interesting week. For starters, my youngest son (age 3) has become oddly fixated on a song from the Marmaduke soundtrack, which means I've been starting every morning jamming out to some Tupac. That's right - the boys and I rock it out to California Love every morning - we roll up to the school with the base throbbing, heads bobbing, then we throw up gang signs to the para-professionals who greet the kids and go our separate ways. We pretty much rule that school, old-skool, but it does set an odd tone to the day. Not bad, just a little different. It makes me laugh, though, and mama likes to laugh.

Coitus.

Halloween is just around the corner! Is anybody dressing up? I was going to be a sexy witch but the other night I decided that I might look around for a Maude Lebowski wig. It's probably not the most current costume idea, but it's a classic and I do love me some Maude! I've already got Jim growing in some Dude-ish facial hair, too.

Speaking of Halloween, I shared this funny Elvira video on the OOBH Facebook page yesterday. Btw, if you haven't become a fan of the OOBH yet, what are you waiting for? Even on days when I don't have the energy to make a blog post I'm usually farting around over on Fecesbook, so come talk to me, why don'tcha?

Okay, enough pandering. Check out this hot bish:

This woman is 59 years old. FML.

I love her! When I was a kid I always wanted my dad to rent me one of her movies at the video store but he never would. You see that? Even as a child I was drawn to her snarky persona and enormous knockers like a moth to a flame. In this quick video she is spoofing political laughing-stock Christine O'Donnell, and in so doing she has provided me with my new personal slogan. Take a look - you'll know what I mean:

I'm you, 'cept with bigger tits.

Put that on my headstone and call it a day! Could it BE any more perfect? No, no it could not. Hmm, this gives me an idea.... Maybe I'll ditch my Maude costume idea and just go for the gusto and be Elvira! *wheels turning*

Okay, poopsies. Gotta run. Lots to do today and miles to go before I sleep. Hope you all have a groovy weekend!
XOXO