Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The fattest month

AKA: I hate you, January.

I feel so pudgy right now. I hate how my face gets fat when I put on a couple pounds. You can disguise 4-5 lbs under sweaters and ignore snugness in your waistband, but you can't deny a puffy face or double chin. This is the time of year, after the dust has settled on the holiday binging, when my friends all laugh at me because whenever someone takes our picture I immediately blurt out, "You look great, but I look like the kid from Mask!"

Every single time. My face... it just expands!

Time to cut some calories. I suppose I can start by discontinuing the Hershey's Kisses I've been sneaking here and there, and of course I'll have to put the kibosh on allowing any more Tostitos into the shopping cart.

*sigh* I miss those crunchy, salty bastards already, but I miss my cheekbones more.

One quick funny before I go. Last night Jim and I were watching a Family Guy rerun in which Brian shows Stewie the infamous "Two Girls, One Cup" video:



Now, I've never watched the 2G1C video because I was fortunate enough to find out what it was before anyone tried to scar me for life with it. This piece of filth is so far away from anything I would ever willingly subject myself to, it isn't even funny. But yeah, I live in these United States, I listen to the radio and watch the teevee, so I am aware of it.

My husband, not so much. Sweet, clueless Jim. He turned to me, questions written all over his face, his little brow knitted with confusion, and asked me what Stewie was watching that was so horrifying.

I could have been mean & made him watch it, but I didn't.



I may have given him a somewhat kinder, gentler idea of what the video was about. After all, why plant that mental image in his head? Shielding our loved ones from life's many horrors is but one job we wives and mothers share, is it not?

Just kidding - I told him, and I told him good. ;) How could I not?

Latah, tatahs!