Alliteration be damned!

I know it's not Thankful Thursday, but I'm feeling thankful today, so suck it. :) I say that in the nicest way possible, like when I jokingly tell someone to "shut the fuck up." I hate it when they think I'm being serious. Especially my boss. Kidding, kidding! I never say it loudly enough for him to hear me.

Anyway!

I would like to send out a big THANK YOU to the nice man who flashed his lights at me this morning so I would know to slow down because there was a cop behind him. YAY, for random acts of kindness! You see, my street is hilly and windy and the speed limit is 30 MPH, which is pretty near impossible to maintain without riding the brake the whole time. 40 MPH is pretty comfortable, and that's just coasting! So, I've been pulled over twice since we've lived at this house (almost 8 years, so it's not like I'm a total speed demon), and one time I got the mutha of all speeding tickets for going about 52 mph. Ooops. Whatever, I had a pizza in the car and I was hungry, Occifer, so screw off. Ok, I didn't say that to him, but I definitely thought it.

I even have a stupid radar detector now, thanks to my FIL who loooooves gadgets. It has saved my ass a few times, I'll admit it. The last time I got pulled over it was about a week after I got that ticket, and the cop let me off... I'm pretty sure because I was wearing a low-cut top and I cried a little. STFU, I'm not too proud. Tickets suck!

Getting pulled over this morning would have totally ruined my day, so I just want to throw the THANKS out into the universe and I hope that the guy in the red jeep has a fantastic day and maybe even gets laid or something. GO, DUDE! You've earned it.

What else? I'm also thankful because I'm back into my "skinny jeans," but don't get too impressed because those still aren't tiny; it's not like I'm gushing over being a size 6. HA, no. But, when I got on the scale for my daily slap in the face (yes, I do it daily, don't judge... if I don't I find myself struggling to button my pants by the end of the week, for reals), I was hoping to see 1_9, but instead I saw 1_4. That middle digit is private, so don't be nosey. :) In fact, I was so convinced that my scale had broken that I made my kid get on it, too, and it was actually accurate. Huh. So, today is a good day, and all of my pants are too big, and I'll fucking TAKE IT. Thank you.

In closing, I will leave you with one of my favorite sketches from the now-defunct Canadian comedy troupe, The Kids In The Hall. It's amazing, they've been gone for over a decade, but I still find myself quoting them all. the. time. From this clip, I have been known to throw out my favorite line, "You just blew my mind!" and Jim will respond with, "Our minds have been blown!"


"He's really light, too!"