Friday Noggin Nuggets

'Sup, peeps?

Sorry I didn't regale you with TMI goodness yesterday. My boss was riding me like Secretariat and I couldn't get a free minute to do my usual blog stalking and writing. BOO! The nerve of him, expecting me to actually earn my paycheck!

Anywhooooooo. I'm not doing your typical OOBH Stew today either because I just didn't stumble across anything too wild & crazy online this week, so I'll give you a random sampling from inside my noggin instead.

It's a 4 piece Noggin Nuggets meal deal, which is way more healthy than a KFC Double Cardiac Arrest! They're crispy on the outside, gooey on the inside, just like yours truly.

Nugget One: April (snow) Showers bring May Flowers!

Woke up to this today:



Screw you, Mother Nature. Because of you I had to spend my morning explaining to my 2 year-old that it is not "Cwissmas!"

Nugget Two: Facebook n00bs make me laugh.

I have a cousin who we have always suspected is gay, but my family has a strict "don't ask/don't tell" policy. Not that we'd care, because it doesn't matter to us and it wouldn't change the fact that he's never been a particularly nice guy.



This week he joined Facebook and inadvertantly eliminated all doubt about his sexual preference. You know how people who are new to the 'book tend to blunder around like bulls in a china shop for a while until they figure stuff out? They post long personal messages on people's walls, address individuals in their status updates instead of writing on walls, and spam their friends with drink requests and the like? We've all seen Lame Book, we know how funny it can be!

Well my cuz posted a long-winded response to an old friend who had written on his wall. In it, he talked about hook-ups he'd arranged through a gay dating site (jackpot!), told the world that he's 45 and still lives with his mom, and admitted to dying his hair... right down to the Clairol shade.

It was... pretty awesome. Welcome to Facebook! Aren't you glad you befriended great Aunt Mildred? Oh, and let me be the first to say, "HA HA." :)

Side note: When my youngest sees Nelson on TV he immediately breaks out into a series of hilarious "HA HA's!" Cracks us up every time!

Nugget Three: Be afraid, be very afraid!

Tomorrow morning 16 screaming children will descend upon my home to eat cake, beat on a pinata, and generally sully my home with their grimy kid fingers. Little angels.

Yes, it's my son's annual birthday bash and this year I'm even less prepared for the melee than usual. I'd go hide & let them go all Lord of the Flies if it were socially acceptable, but I know that's frowned-upon. To make matters worse, this will be the first year that we haven't had a beautiful Spring day, so all the muddy little feet will be INSIDE instead of out in the backyard. FML.

Pray for me!


Nugget Four: I'm in the Phythics Club

Mala and I started a creative writing class this week at a local community college, and the first class was hysterical. Not the content so much, but the other students. Makes you realize that Joel McHale's show Community is pretty much right on target!

There were only six of us, but you couldn't get a more diverse group if you had gone to central casting and asked for a Breakfast Club special. Mala & I were definitely the Molly Ringwalds of the group, minus the prissiness and the virginity, obv.



We had:

The hippie girl with filthy-looking dreadlocks and a horrid neck tattoo and crusty lip ring. She spoke with a lisp and kept pulling jars of gritty mung from her bag and spooning it into her mouth periodically during class.

The unkempt Indian woman wearing layer upon layer of what looked like rags, with this wild hair that obscured her face. She immediately surprised the shit out of us by telling us that she's a practicing doctor at a local hospital. Huh - a reminder never to judge on appearances, clearly!

A 70-something guy with the world's most fantastic white hair. He drives a school bus in the worst part of Manchester and wants to write a book about it. Frankly, I'd read it!

A very nervous guy who uses air quotes WAY too often and seems to have some pretty glaring self-esteem issues.

and us.

I think I'm gonna like this class, yo! Excellent people-watching, if nothing else.

That's all I've got! Hope you all have a fabulous weekend.

P.S. Don't forget to scan those yearbook photos this weekend!! Monday it's SHOW ME YOURS day!!

Electricity, E-lect-ricit-y....

Hey now! Good weekend?

Mine was good, yes. I woke up exhausted today despite having gotten enough rest, which is always a great feeling, yes? Nothing like draggin' ass on a Monday.

Last Thursday night we got hit by a killer rain storm here in New Hampshire - hurricane force winds of 95mph were reported, and I believe it! It sounded like a freight train roaring past my house, and as always I worried about little things like trees falling into my home and killing us all dead. Turns out I was right to worry; our friend Mala's house did have a run-in with a 100 foot Pine tree, but thank goodness no one was hurt!! I'm sure she'd love to write about it on her blog but since they're still without power or cable, you'll have to take my word for it.

We lost power for about 24 hours, but our new generator kicked serious ASS so we really didn't have to sweat it like all the other chumps. You see, last winter we had an ice storm that knocked us off the grid for a mortifying FIVE DAYS. Yes, five days without heat or running water, and my 1 year old son came down with a raging case of diarrhea on day 2. NO FUN. We kept saying we'd get a generator, but didn't... until November when the power went out again and stayed out for over a day and I pulled a diva move and took to my bed. When Jim found me in there with the covers over my head, he immediately went to Lowe's and sealed the deal.

So really, my family has my tantrum to thank for being warm and cozy this time around. You're welcome, family. Any time!

The cable stayed off until Friday evening, however, so my half-finished batch of OOBH stew went unposted. Don't worry though, it'll keep.

On Saturday night we got a babysitter and went out to celebrate our friend Laurie's birthday. We had an absolute BLAST, and I'm not gonna lie - I drank like a fish. Glug glug! I don't even know how many drinks I had, but it was nearing double digits for sure. I started off with Cosmos, ended up with Newcastle Brown Ale, and had a few pineappley shot things in there somewhere too.

It was a karaoke party, and I was definitely a little irked that my bum vocal cord kept me away from the mic. Thankfully I also love to dance, so at least I had something to do. I did a stunning interpretive dance that was equal parts Vogue, Thriller, and Burlesque, with just a touch of The Robot thrown in for good measure. I know, you don't have to say it - I rock!

The birthday girl deemed her new signature shot, The Laurie, "DELICIOUS!"



I am a very affectionate drunk. Surprise!



Lean back: I want to make sure to get both my chins in... and if you can see up my nose too, that'd be greeeeeat.



Needless to say, I was a hurtin' puppy yesterday morning. I woke up at 7:30 still drunk, staggered downstairs for water and ibuprofen, then went back to bed till 11:30. Big props to my husband for holding the fort/rising at 6:30 with the kids to make it all happen!

Now I'm back at work with an assload of boring work-type things to do and an irritable boss who just got back from a weeklong vacation in Florida and doesn't seem to realize that we've been in a state of emergency around these parts. Jackass. Time to buckle down and make myself useful I guess. If I must.

Have a good one!

In search of an epiphany

I woke up out of sorts today. I have the day off and hadn't made any plans; I didn't feel like going out and being social, and even though I should have gone shopping for a few belated Christmas gifts for Jim's brother I just didn't feel like it. It has been snowing for two days straight, but this morning the sun was out, the sky was blue, and every twig on every limb on every tree was heavy with fresh, white snow. It is not often that I feel compelled to get out into the cold and enjoy a winter day, so when I am so inclined I act quickly before I get lazy and stay inside watching bad TV and surfing the internet.

Some of my best thinking has been done while walking outside. Some of my deepest thoughts have trickled into my consciousness slowly while I mindlessly move my limbs and propel myself forward. Today was the kind of day when I needed some kind of epiphany - it didn't have to be massive or life-altering, it just had to be meaningful.

I quickly threw together a play list on my iPod (appropriately titled "Moody Music") and off I went. The snow was beautiful and melting fast, so occasionally as I walked it would flutter down from the tree canopy and twinkle in the sunlight as it fell onto my face. It felt good, like being sprinkled with pixie dust or somehow anointed by nature, and it made me smile. I did miss having a dog at my side, but it felt good to move my body and I felt long disused muscles waking up. Some of those muscles were pretty pissed! My ass, for instance, was not loving it, but I ignored its protests and I told my creaky ankle to STFU as well. Soon enough they listened to me and I was able to concentrate on the crunch of snow under my boots, the sunlight and trees making patterns on unblemished fields of snow, and the quiet music in my ears.



What kind of New Englander would I be if I didn't summon Robert Frost on a walk such as this?

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

When I came to the place where I would normally turn back towards home, I kept going. I decided to just keep walking until I felt sorted out, however long that took. Turns out it took about two hours.

I'm not sure exactly where or when my epiphany struck, but before long I realized that something in me had lifted. You see, lately I haven't been myself. I've been wallowing in emotion and stewing in discord. I've been allowing myself to experience my fears as if they are real. I've been thinking too much and laughing too little. In short, I've been taking myself entirely too seriously.

Not every thought deserves to be analyzed. Some thoughts don't even deserve the time it takes to think them. During the course of a given day we experience a plethora of feelings; some of them are worthwhile, but some are not. I need to work on enjoying the good and ignoring the bad.

As my thighs turned numb from the cold and my nose started to run, I also found myself grateful for my body again. I'm so glad that I can walk for hours and climb hills and be rewarded with a nice view! My body sure isn't perfect, what with its bum thyroid and propensity to gain weight if someone so much as says "Carbs" in my vicinity, but it has given me so much pleasure in my life! How could I not be grateful?

Therein lay the epiphany, you see. I think I had forgotten to simply be grateful. Life is hard - no doubt about it - but everything worth working for is hard. Wasting time worrying over who said what and what-ifs won't help me embrace that which is essential to my happiness: love & gratitude. Loving myself, loving others, loving where I live, and even loving my crap job, which enables me to take long walks on a Wednesday morning to reconnect with myself and what's important to me.

Maybe it was the elusive "runner's high" that the skinny folks talk about, but by the time I came home I was elated. I felt like jumping into the 4 ft. high snowbanks and making snow angels. I waved cheerily at cars as they passed me. I let myself in to my quiet house that smells like my cooking and hung my coat on the hook that is reserved for my things, and I felt a discernible click as everything fell back into place in my world. Nothing has changed except my attitude, and that has made all the difference.

Monday, Monday

Hey all! Hope you all had a nice, relaxing Thanksgiving holiday. I will be making an effort to get around to read all of your blogs today if I can, so please don't think I'm ignoring you. I admit that I took a giant step back from the computer over my five days off, and oddly enough -- I liked it. Not that I'll be making a habit of it, so never fear.

Let's see. Quick recap: Thanksgiving was nice, and quiet. I made a shit-ton of food, going through about a pound of butter in the process. My family agreed that I outdid myself; everything came out perfectly, even the gravy, which tends to be my nemesis at holiday meals. Other than eat, we mostly spent the day playing Rock Band 2 and drinking. It rocked. At the end of the day Danny proclaimed it the BEST DAY EVER, but that might've just been the beer talkin'. Ha ha - I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Don't call the cops on us.

On Saturday morning I was lying in bed trying to muster the energy to get up when I heard a loud BOOM and the power went out. Apparently the 50 mph winds had taken their toll, and as usual our town was the first to lose power and one of the last to get it back. FMFL. I admit it: I sulked and pouted all day. Last winter we had an ice storm and we lost power for a full 5 brutal winter days. For the first time in my 30-odd years on the planet, I threatened to move South. Jim the mountain man got worried and promised he'd buy a generator for times like these... then promptly didn't. So Saturday as the hours ticked by and the house grew colder and darker, I started to seethe. Eventually he found me back in bed with the covers pulled over my head and he knew that it was time to bite the bullet. Two hours later he came home with the biggest generator Lowes had and a promise to get an electrician out this week to get it hard-wired. Fuck this shit. Leave the candles and shivering for the other chumps. I'm OVER it.

Saturday night we wriggled under the dangling power line on our street fled to Mala's house, where two teeny tiny teenagers took charge of our children (and by that I mean, let the kids run wild while they watched TV) so we could go out. I was so ready to get out by then, lemme tell you. M has gone from angel child to devil spawn over the past week or so; the Terrible Twos have struck with a vengeance. He's been sleeping poorly, refusing to nap, throwing tantrums, and tossing just about every morsel of food you give him onto the floor while saying, "I make mess!" So yeah, some adult conversation in a non-chain restaurant with actual linens on the table was just what the doctor ordered!



The food & wine were delish, and the company was fantastic as always. After dinner we went to the world's cheesiest bar and did some karaoke. Mala and I got our angry girl-power on not once but twice, but the second time we really stunk up the joint. Thankfully, none of the portly bleached blondes in trucker caps and Nascar sweatshirts seemed to notice, so we cool. By the end of the evening Mala and I were cutting up the dance floor... right up until the point when Mala fell over backwards like a mighty Redwood. One minute we're dancing like the naughty tarts that we are, the next she's lying on her back like a turtle with a confused look on her face.

Being the good friend that I am, I went over to help her up and the goofball tried to pull me down too! WTF? I'm a pretty sturdy chick so I managed to convince her that lying on the sticky carpet of a karaoke bar was not advisable and get her back up on her feet, but really that was the beginning of the end. As the following pictures show, I was in full-on "Crazy Eyes" mode, and Jim had just sung some Ozzy so he was feelin' it as well. I texted this picture to my BIL who is a Psychiatry resident in Philly and he wrote back and said he loved us, but we're crazy. I asked if that was his professional opinion & he had no further comment.



Believe it or not, these are Joe's crazy eyes. He's a wild one, that guy.



That night we went back to their place and they put us up in their comfy guest room because why rush home when we STILL HAD NO POWER? Best part? The next morning Mala made us pancakes & bacon, and when we got home we found electricity and order restored once more. I love a happy ending.

So now I'm back at my crap job and hating every second of it, and this week will be a doozy. I'm overtired (my own fault - staying up too late, getting up too early) and over-stretched this week. HOWEVER....

The awesome: tomorrow night my amazingly tenacious friend Laurie scored us tickets to see LADY GAGA in Boston at the Waaaaaaaang (yeah, I said Wang)!!!!!!! Even cooler? The tix are going for ridiculous sums of money - $200+, but Laurie somehow found us a pair for $75 each. I have no idea how she did it but she is just one of these folks who always gets what she sets her mind to getting! I am really hoping some of that quality rubs off on wishy-washy old Bev. ;)

Oh, and she just sent me a picture of a crazy outfit she's getting for me to wear tomorrow night. How cool is that?!

The not-so-awesome: I need to have a little medical thingy (don't ask) on Thursday that involves a very long needle... in my neck... and no good pain meds after! UGH. Not looking forward to that part of the week. No sir. But I am choosing to forget about that and focus instead on seeing my current favorite performer tomorrow night instead.

Ok, enough is enough. I've been working on this post for entirely too long in between actually doing my, ya know, JOB. I need to figure out a way to get paid for blogging. Where are we with that?

I hate it when they're right

The weather people, that is.





The bad news is: it snowed this morning. In October. FML.

The good news is: It was just 20 minutes of flurries & it melted fast.

I'm sooooo not ready for another long, cold winter!
Happy Friday, all! Stay warm.

XOXO

Sort-of-Wordless Wednesday

This is my favorite time of year to live in New England. I love the foliage and the weather, the holidays and the traditions. I've been meaning to take some pictures of the leaves but just haven't gotten around to it. This weekend we're heading to Boston and Cape Cod, so I hope to catch some good pics! Until then, I just took a few cell phone pics of my own yard. I'm feeling a bit lazy on this rainy day, so this is pretty much all I've got for blog fodder. Enjoy.





Have a bevtastic day. :)

I surrender!

Mother Nature, you cruel beyotch, I cry "UNCLE!" You win! I lose. I get it. I am waving the white flag of surrender! I kneel before you, a pathetic human who needs creature comforts far more than I could have imagined!

Last week's ice storm left us without electricity for an unprecidented FOUR full days, almost five. We finally got it restored last night. During our little power hiatus, the baby got sick and started throwing up, all of my Christmas shopping went undone, and the earth basically felt like it had stopped rotating around the sun for some odd reason. I missed two days of work ("well, I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob"), and am just now starting to feel a little bit of normalcy. Of course, I want to work now less than EVER before, which I didn't even think was possible because I pretty much never want to come here... but that's neither here nor there.

The good news is that our woodstove saved the day yet again! It kept us warm, kept the pipes in the house from freezing, and allowed us to stay in the house instead of seeking shelter elsewhere. The roads were cleared up by Friday afternoon, so after Jim unearthed our driveway from all the broken, frozen trees, we were able to get out and able in the "real" world. It was like a war zone - people wandered like zombies through the raided grocery stores, a lot of businesses were running without electricity, banks were closed, no police in sight anywhere, the world was dark and cold.... Bizarre!

But don't take my word for it, here's the photo evidence:





That which does not kill us, makes us stronger. We're uber buff. ;)

We opened the door...

Now, how do we close it as nicely as possible?

A month or so ago we had our nextdoor neighbors over for a meal. They're nice folks, and we've lived peacefully next door to them for the past 7 years, waving at each other's cars, chatting at the transfer station, etc. Last summer our street got some new residents, and we found ourselves bonding with our old neighbors out of mutual dislike for the new people.

Hey, we tried to like the new people; I gave them a little potted plant and a card upon their arrival, DH and I chatted with the mom out on the street and heard a brief version of their life story, we have let our son play with their kid in the yard a couple of times. Sure, we weren't nuts when they hosted an elaborate party on July 4th, complete with sporadic and extremely noisy fireworks from 8:30 PM till... oh, midnight or so. Not steady, boom boom boom, fireworks, but the kind that go "BOOOM BOOOOM BOOOOM POW PZZZZZOOOOOOOW!" and you think, "Oh, good, that must have been their finale. Now it's nice and quie---" "BOOOOM BOOOM PZZZZZZOOOOOOOOOOOW!" Ok, that was annoying, but we certainly didn't say anything. I mean, hey, we keep to ourselves, and like living on this street because everybody leaves one another alone. :)

Then came the motorbikes. One day, the father and the son rode a pair of LOUD motorbikes up and down our street, in front of our house. They were really loud - that high-pitched "vrrrroooooooooom" sound, times two. They started buzzing our quarter mile street about 8-10 times per night, right around the time we'd get home from work and start to unwind a bit. You know, like the time of night (6-8 PM) when you're sitting on your back deck, listening to the sounds of the forest.

For the first time in my entire life, I contemplated calling the cops on them. Neither DH nor myself has ever called the cops on anyone before; as I said, we're extremely live & let live kind of folks. But this... well, this was bad.

Then one day after about a week, the motorbikes stopped buzzing the street. We thanked our lucky stars and moved on with our lives, until Saturday when DH was out on a walk and the new neighbor (not the dad, who refuses to speak with us, even when spoken to) approached him and said, "Hey neighbor. Did you call the cops on us?"

Huh. DH said no, and she told him that a neighbor had complained, the cops had come out, and now they are forced to just ride in their driveway. Bear in mind that one of these "drivers" is seven years old and does not wear a helmet. Nice. Anywho, it was clear that she didn't believe that Jim wasn't the one who called the po-po, but he was polite and we had a good chuckle when he got home. Then, he called our neighbor and that is how it came to pass that we had them over for dinner one night.

As I said, they're nice folks - older, with no kids. It's pretty clear that the dude spends quite a bit of time drunk out of his gourd (not that there's anything wrong with that!), but we really enjoyed our night with them. Unfortunately, at some point that night, the wife mentioned going to an amusement park for a Halloween thing this month, and I guess we said, "sure!"

Now they have called and want to go, and now we don't want to and don't know how to tell them that there's no excuse at all, we just don't wanna go. They're nice people - but if we're doing an amusement park, we'd like to go with our friends and their kids, ya know? I don't know how to break it to them, and I certainly don't want to tick off another set of neighbors! As DH put it, it'd feel a little bit like we were going with our parents... and I don't know if they expect us to get a babysitter or what (they're NOT kid people), but that's not happening. So.

I wish we hadn't opened that door... it's much easier just waving hello to neighbors.